is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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