Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
