He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
