You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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