He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
