We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
