Midget sex pt 2 tonight
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize