Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
