i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
