im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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