i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
