I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
