if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
