Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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