I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
