I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
