I think im going to throw up on grandma
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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