Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
