Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
