after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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