fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
