What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
