Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
