He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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