It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
