Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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