maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
