It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
