Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
