Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
