I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
