just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
