it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
