hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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