As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
