Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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