A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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