you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
