I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dear god my vagina.
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