Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
