Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
