Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
