fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
