3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
