I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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