Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Oh god it's open bar.
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