I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
