Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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