i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
