The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
