I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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