I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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