hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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