he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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