She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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