hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
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Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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