The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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