Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
