i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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