Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize