It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He better not be in your backpack
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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