I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize