Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
