Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
