your room smells of hookers.
And success
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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